Killing time while using up bandwidth…

Comcast sucks. High speed my ass. I’m downloading some shit, and my internet is crippled while doing so. Assholes.

So I thought I’d use my time to write some more. Why not? I have nothing better to do at the moment, and I am pissed off and feeling like shit. Best time to let’er rip, eh?

Let me explain why I’m pissed. Someone was hired to clean and paint my basement. It turns out that person is a total fucking moron that I’m pretty sure would not be able to pass for a human if he was tested for basic logic skills. He would rank somewhere with a goldfish… maybe.

The asshole ‘finished’ last week. I went down there to look, and indeed he did not finish. He didn’t clean 2 major areas in the basement, two areas which were in bad need of cleaning. The stupid whore that owned the house before me didn’t like cleaning litter boxes, but loved have 20+ cats. So what did she do? Dumped dirt into two corners of storage spaces in the basement, and let the cats go there. Never cleaning it up. So there was two areas covered in dirt, dust, and cat shit/piss. The basement guy didn’t bother to clean this. Before giving him the 2nd check for the rest of the money owed, he was told to go back down and actually finish the job. He did. And in doing so, fucking ruined my whole damn house.

I still don’t know what went wrong, but I’m pretty sure I have it figured out. He went down there with a shop-vac and used that to simply suck up all the dirt/shit he didn’t bother to clean before. Now, the vac he used was either missing any filter of some kind or he was not using a proper canister for the vac. Instead of sucking up all the dirt, dust and shit… basically he sucked it up into the vac, which then proceeded to force it all right back out and into a big cloud of dust. Keep in mind, where he was cleaning was in these spaces in the same room as my furnace. It’s winter, so the furnace is on. I was trying to sleep (this was at like 11am) and I thought I was dreaming when I noticed things.

I partially woke up when my room was suddenly filled with smoke, or so I thought it was. I just thought maybe the dickhead didn’t notice a bad belt on the vac he was using, and it was burning. I dosed back off. A while later I remember waking up to him screaming at the bottom of the steps “Hey, do you have a fan I can use before I go?” I don’t remember this much, I was really out of it. I don’t even remember my response.

About an hour after he left, I woke up and realized I needed to eat. I go downstairs, and notice a ‘cloud’ of smoke/whatever. I went into the kitchen, and started grabbing stuff to eat. Soon I noticed my hands suddenly had this brown stuff all over them. I look around, and notice everything seemed to have a brown tint to it. I go around the house with some paper towels, wiping things off here and there. Everything I found had this brown stuff on it. I notice the heat vents were 100% covered in this stuff, too. Then it hit me. I looked in the basement, didn’t even need to go down, and saw all the brown on the freshly painted white walls. That ‘smoke’ I noticed while I was half asleep was the shit that he was supposed to be cleaning up. Since he was right next to the furnace, and something wasn’t done right, everything that was once in those areas was forced through my furnace and throughout my entire house. Every single surface area of my house was covered in this layer of dust, dirt and cat shit/piss. I was sure of this when I started coughing up brown shit, and then had a massive asthma attack.

I just had my cleaning lady out 3 days prior. Everything was clean, there was no dust anywhere. Now, everything… I mean EVERY DAMN THING, was covered. I freaked out and ran outside. Dude, I’m germophobic and I have issues with this kind of shit. I was freaking out. To make the rest of the story short: I called my cleaning lady and begged her to come out right then and there to wipe down and clean all the surfaces in the house. This included floors, tables, shelves, walls, ceilings… everything. Every fabric I had that wasn’t inside a drawer/closet was covered in this shit. Everything smelled. I had to pay my cleaning lady $140 to come out right then and there and clean more than she’s ever had to clean before. I was actually going to call a professional cleaning service, but I couldn’t find one that could come out the same day, on the weekend, at the last minute like that. The best I found was places who could come Monday and charge me $200-500 to clean. So I went with my cleaning lady. After she cleaned, I realized the house wouldn’t really be rid of this stuff for months.

There is only so much you can do to remove this stuff from everything. It is still here and there, and will get kicked up into the air all the time and settle back down on all the surfaces. This was obvious when I woke up today and wiped off the just-cleaned countertops in my kitchen. It wasn’t a thick coat of crap like it initially was, just a nice frosting of it. I’ll have to wipe down everything little by little, and try to eventually get most of it out.

I realized right away I had to turn my heat off. This shit was in my furnace and in all the vents. If I turned the heat on, the whole house would be filled with the smoke/dust cloud and recoated with the stuff. The only way to prevent that is to have my furnace and vents cleaned out by a professional company. That costs a lot, as I’ve had it done before not too long ago. Until I have my basement and furnace/vents cleaned, I can’t turn my heat on. That is pretty shitty since it’s fucking cold right now.

To make matters worse, my dad is pissed and refusing to pay to have this mess cleaned. He is willing to not pay the basement guy the 2nd half of his money, and use that money to cover the cleaning costs. But that means we have to tell the basement guy we’re not paying him, and I have a feeling he won’t like that. My mom insists on talking to the guy and telling him what he did and making him fix things. No. I don’t want him back in my house, ever. He is a fucking moron and there is nothing good to come from asking him to do anything more. He fucked up, big time, so he is not getting paid. My mom wanted me to not have my house cleaned, I was to wait for him to come look at things and figure out how to clean everything. NO! I am not going to sit here with my house covered in a brown-coat of what equals shit. Somehow she can’t fathom that this dust/dirt/shit is something i’m highly allergic to, and inhaling it will probably give me pneumonia ontop of other problems. I already am afraid I inhaled it enough to cause a major problem. I was not going to wait for her to talk to him. I wanted that shit out… now.

The basement, furnace, vents and a few other things are still uncleaned. My cleaning lady could only do 3 1/2 hours of work. She couldn’t get every last surface area 100% clean. I left the basement as-is for my mom to see, and fucking clean since it was her damn fault for hiring a total fucking idiot. I have a feeling nobody will be willing to pay to have the furnace, vents and basement cleaned – I’ll have to pull some money out of my ass (meaning I have no money and therefore me paying is not even a possibility) or I’ll have to figure shit out with my parents to see which one of them will fix this situation.

I am pissed. I am sick. I can’t breath, I have a rash all over, and I’m pretty sure I will have pneumonia within the next week from all I inhaled. I can’t turn my heat on, so I’m freezing. I can’t even wash all my now dirty clothes/linens because the basement asshole clogged the basement sink/drains with paint, and broke the connections for the washer/dryer. Yeah, he fucked everything up big time. But neither of my parents seem to care. They won’t take the blame or responsibility, and neither wants to pay or make much of a effort to fix this mess. I am the only one suffering from this, so what the fuck do they care.

I really hate people. I wish I was just a little less moral, so I could have no problems with killing that man and taking every penny he has.

Again, as is usual in my life, I am completely fucked. I am forced to live with other peoples’ mistakes, and I’m the only one who has to suffer from the morons around. As if my life didn’t suck enough, this all had to happen.

When will the fucking world realize I really don’t need any more reasons to go kill myself? No, I’m not depressed or suicidal. I am just able to see reality. My whole world, my entire life, sucks. If anyone else was forced to live my life, they would have killed themselves long ago. But I have to be strong, moral, good… I am not allowed to give up. I can’t kill myself for fear of proving everyone right. Instead I must live in a constantly worsening hell. Every fucking day something else happens to make it even harder for me to fight that urge to end it all. Everytime I think it can’t get any worse, it does.

People are not meant to be solitary creatures. If we were, we would be able to reproduce alone and lack any higher forms of communication and expression. I am forced to not just live a solitary life, but I am constantly crushed by having a speck of hope for human contact, only to have it violently ripped away from me. Friends never stay around much, no matter how close or casual… they always run away from me, and usually kick me on their way out. Marriage provided a chance of having someone to live my life with, but that was just one big punishment. Children provided hope, a life, a reason to keep on going, but my children were ripped away from me and I was forced to bury my own children before I even had a chance to know them.

What else will I have to go through? When will I have one fucking chance of not having to fight to survive? When will this world stop punishing me? I just want one fucking day where I can wake up and not think “What is a good way to kill myself today without having to get out of bed?”

I just stepped away from this for 20min to talk to my mom who just called. She and my dad have worked some of this mess out. We’re not paying the basement guy the rest of the money owed. The money that was meant to pay him will instead be used to cover the cost of my cleaning lady, Sears Air Duct/Furnace Cleaning (to be done this week ASAP), and a cleaning team to go and properly clean the basement once the furnace/air ducts are cleaned. My mom will come over and use a Swiffer thing and go over all my walls and ceilings to remove as much as the stuff left as possible. She’s also going to clean all my linens and clothes that got covered in this shit.

Do I feel any better knowing things might get cleaned up? Not really. This whole mess shouldn’t have happened in the first place.

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